Get to know us

The name's Tallulah. Call me Tal if you like. Here in my digital den, I cobble together stories that'll make you question whether to laugh or lock yourself in your room. It’s all about the wild, weird, and wonderfully woeful things we humans do to each other. From the shadows of the overlooked to the glaring blunders in broad daylight, I write it all.

And when I’m not weaving these odd little yarns, I’m bleeding melancholy poetry that could make a weeping willow look downright jolly. The mad, the sad, the profound, the hilarious—all the bonkers things that's life. Like watching a soap opera through a kaleidoscope.

Ah, right, why the devil do I write all this oddball stuff? Simple: life’s a full-on circus, and let’s be honest, it’s either laugh, write, or cry in a corner with a tub of ice cream—and my freezer's not that big. Have you ever looked around and thought, This can’t be it, can it? Well, me too, boy, me too.

I write because, in the grand theatre of the absurd that is our existence, penning down the loony, the bleak, and the downright surreal is about as sane a response as any. It's like grabbing the chaos of the world, stuffing it into a cannon, and blasting it onto paper before it can explode somewhere less convenient, like at the dinner table or during a job interview.

Writing, for me, is less about escaping reality and more about squaring up to it, giving it a good, hard stare, and then tickling it until it releases its grip on my sanity. It’s my way of keeping the night terrors at bay and finding a spark of joy in the murk. Plus, it's cheaper than therapy and you don’t have to get out of your pajamas.

So, kick off your shoes (mind you, not literally—I can't see you and I'm not tidying up the mess), make yourself comfy, grab a cuppa—or something stronger, I won't judge, and let's dive into some stories that are as bizarre as a deep-fried Mars bar (trust me, it’s a Scottish thing). Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride, and by the end, you’ll either be laughing or crying—or hey, maybe even both.

MY TEAM

Me

Miss Whiskers

My Tonkinese Cat

My Hometown

Leith, Edinburgh, Scotland, Great Britain

My Drink

Whiskey, what else?

A NOTE ON AI

Oh, right, let’s get this out of the way—I’m not a professional writer, striving for that Pulitzer or whatnot. That never was my cup of tea. I’m just here for a good time, trying to make heads or tails of this strange world we live in through my scribbles. And I use AI in my writing process. Yeah, I know, that ugly word that gets booed off stage in posh literary salons. But before you grab your pitchforks, let me make a few things clear.

I mainly use AI for digging up research or jazzing up a description here, a line of dialogue there. ILike having a little digital sous-chef in my kitchen of creativity—chopping carrots, not cooking the whole stew. It gives a polish to a sentence that might’ve otherwise felt a bit rough around the edges. And let’s be honest, it’s a bit of a godsend. Could be the literary equivalent of a spice rack: not essential but makes things a whole lot tastier. Now, don’t get it twisted—I’m the mastermind here. Every twisted plot, every quirky character cavorting through these pages sprung from my brain. No AI is dreaming up this madness; it’s all me, baby. The prose, the chaos, the laughs—credit where it’s due, right?

I get the side-eye some folks throw when you mention AI and writing in the same breath. Feels like cheating? Maybe a smidge. That’s why you won’t see my tales on bookstore shelves or me swaggering into writer's competitions. It’s only fair—the geniuses sweating over every word should get their glory.

But let’s face it, fighting AI in the realm of writing is like being Don Quixote jousting with windmills—charming but futile. Look at the music industry: today’s hits are a blend of beats crafted by humans and machines alike. And soon, I reckon we’ll see the same in the literary world. The truly great writers? They’ll soar, as always. The not-so-great? Well, they might just find themselves neck-and-neck with a robot. That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

So yeah, I’m no pro. Just a storyteller having a laugh and hoping you’ll join in. I write, I share, and if it tickles your fancy, stick around for the ride.